10 Reasons you shouldn’t “Pop Up” at Someones House

Okay, so let me tell you about a pet peeve of mine…people showing up at my house frogunannounced! Now I know for some people this is not really a problem. In fact, my Granny’s house is the “pop up” house even though it is now inhabited by my Aunt. We still “drop in” to visit or say “hi” because it is welcomed and has been for over 40 years! Yet, if at any given moment my Auntie wanted to change this rule, it would be her right to do so because it is her house.  But it has not changed and we are still able to “Pop up” unannounced. But here at the Padilla Estates, that ish don’t fly!

I have had to deal with this in the past with people on both sides of the fence (his family and mine), who thought it was okay to violate the rules and the regulations that govern the household that the King (My Husband) and I have set in place. It was causing tension, stress and intense fellowship in our home. Until I put my foot down and Shut. It. Down!

For a couple of years everything was going smoothly and there was much peace in the Kingdom…until recently someone (a past violator) made a crude joke about it and I felt the need  rise up in me to share reasons why this is unacceptable in case it was not understood the first time!

  1. It’s just RUDE and Disrespectful. – Every household has certain rules that must be followed when you go to a person’s home… ‘Take off your shoes at the door’, ‘No Smoking’, ‘No swearing’,…things like that. So if my rule is that you call or text before you come over (and I don’t mean when you are sitting out in front of my house) then you’re doing nothing but being rude and disrespectful to the rules that have been set in place at my home and you do not deserve to even step foot through my door.
  1. I’m not at home. – I’m sorry (not really), but I don’t just sit around all day waiting on people to pop up at my house unannounced. I have a life and by you coming to my house without notice finding that we are not there only wastes your time and gas when you could have just easily just shot a quick text or given a call.
  1. Common Courtesy/Pick up the damn phone! – How hard is it to shoot a text or give a quick call to let me know you are on your way? Or at least to see if I am even there or available to see you? You can text and call about other silly stuff, but you can’t let me know you’re five minutes away from my house or around the corner?
  1. I didn’t feel like cleaning up today. – For those who know me, they know that I CANNOT STAND a junky house and I definitely can’t stand letting other people see it! I like a clean, clutter-free, organized environment that smells good and looks like it was designed by an HGTV star! (Product of being a daughter of a woman with mild OCD…I’m using the word mild to be nice ;-)) Yet, we are a family of five (5) and lead very busy lives so there are some rare occasions we come home and are so tired that we just drop everything  and don’t feel like picking up after ourselves. So the dishes might not have made it to the dishwasher or the carpet hasn’t been vacuumed or the bathroom trash hasn’t been removed. In any case, I don’t want to have to stress over wondering whether or not someone is about to pop up at my house when I’m already exhausted from a long day.
  1. I have other plans that have now been upheld (inconvenient) – I have 10 minutes to get to where I have to go and you just pulled up in my driveway (if I had one and didn’t live in a condo) blocking my car in, talking about “Oh, were you leaving? I needed to talk to you.”  All of this could have been avoided and you could have kept that good gas in your car if you had just done #3. I know that sometimes you need a face to face sit down with someone, but even in that instance a quick text or call would have let you know if I were available.
  1. We’re not cool like that! – Listen, I don’t care if we are family (whether by blood or marriage), if you and I are not cool like that then don’t think that by popping up unannounced it will make us cool like that! My MOMMA doesn’t even show up at my house unannounced so why do YOU think that you can and we’re not even tight like that? I don’t care if you’re coming to see someone other than me. This is my house and we have RULES just like you have at your house! If you can’t follow the rules of my house then you definitely aren’t welcome!
  1. I don’t want to be bothered today. – Say we are cool, but I just don’t want to see anyone today (this may include the people I live with, but whatcha gonna do? *shrug). Everyone deserves time to themselves; peace and quiet away from other people just to clear their minds. You showing up unannounced can disturb that and now we’re not cool because I just slammed the door in your face!
  1. I don’t want to see you! – Not to be rude (if I haven’t been already) but sometimes I just don’t want to see you. If you have been calling, texting and, IM’ing me and I have not responded, but you see I have been posting on social media, so you know I am alive. This is not an invitation for you to show up at my house to “check on me”. I don’t need you to check on me. Obviously I need you to leave me alone because I am clearly avoiding you for some reason.
  1. I already have company. – You are not the only friend or family member that I have in my life and sometimes I like to enjoy the company of other people (who have called in advance). Now don’t get offended that I didn’t invite you to hang with us because you and that other person may not get along like that. So this is to avoid a very awkward situation or the feeling of you being a 3rd We’re still cool, but I think it is best if we see other people… It’s not me; it’s you…because you keep showing up at my house unannounced!
  1. You’re not welcome at my house. – If you have come to my house causing mess in the past then you are not welcome in my home! We have PEACE that abides at the Padilla Estate and we will NOT have anyone coming and disturbing it! It’s tight, but right. Especially, if the reason is that we don’t get along or we don’t like each other for whatever reason. Why are you even showing up at my house anyway? Don’t say you didn’t think I would be here, I LIVE HERE! And you would have known I was home if you had done #3! It just makes me think that you are trying to disrespect and threaten me and in that case you want these hands…to anoint and  Bless you and Slay you in the Spirit ( I am a Christian woman ;D)!

So to make a long post longer…You wouldn’t want someone showing up at your house causing havoc and disturbing your peace, so why would you think it was okay for you to do it to someone else? You may think it is harmless, but for some people it is not. It’s downright disrespectful, inconvenient and rude! So next time you think of “dropping by” to say hello or visit, show some common courtesy! Pick up the phone and shoot a quick text.  But, if you still don’t agree with the rules and regulations of a person’s home, for whatever reason, then just don’t go over at all!

Have you ever had to deal with people showing up at your home unannounced? Do you agree or disagree with today’s post? Why or why not? Leave a comment below.

25 thoughts on “10 Reasons you shouldn’t “Pop Up” at Someones House

  1. Sara says:

    I frigging HATE IT. It’s always my mom, she is the worst about it & she’s done it a couple times now, at my old place when I lived alone(and a lot closer) and now, where I live w/my husband about 40mins away from both our families, for just that reason, so we can’t be the go-to’s during the week for help, etc, WE have our own lives, pets, home to deal with. If I don’t have the time to call you back, what makes you think just showing up & throwing a GIANT wrench in my daily routine is gonna make me happy to see you? I will always love you, but my g-d I am a 40yr old woman, if I’ve survived this long, what makes you think all of a sudden I would die & disappear w/out a trace or you hearing of the horrible tragedy from somewhere/someone, like IDK my husband??

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    • LA says:

      OMGosh….this!!! A few days ago, my SIL called, first on the house phone and promptly hung up before I could answer it! and then on my cell phone. “Hi we are at xyz (5 minutes away) & is it OK if we stop over?” I said truthfully that I was just leaving to go meet my daughter….but DH was here. He said Sure come on over. So I high-tailed it out of the house – couldn’t get out fast enough!! LOL!!! My house is NEVER guest-ready, while hers looks like it came out of a magazine. Plus we just met them for lunch a couple weeks ago and keep in touch by phone/email – there is nothing new to talk about!!! I hate “visiting” whereas she loves it. (I’m in introvert – sue me!). She said she wanted to see our garden. It’s not that wonderful! So DH called me after they left – two and a half hours later!!! They never know when to leave, which is another thing that bugs me. A couple Thanksgivings ago, they stayed at our house almost THREE HOURS longer than all the other guests. I thought they’d never leave!!! I had a splitting headache and was exhausted, and all I wanted to do was take some aspirin and lay down. Instead I had to keep listening to their drivel. If I had it to do over, I would just excuse myself and let DH carry on. It’s his sister!!! I’m so glad to learn I am not the only one who is annoyed by this kind of thing. 🙂

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      • Murf says:

        Completely agree. I hate unannounced visiting. My dad’s brother just showed up, its a Sunday it’s the period between Christmas and New year, me and my mum are lying on the sofa still in our pyjamas at 3.30pm because we feel like it. The vacuum hasn’t been done the dishes from our breakfast are in the sink. We weren’t expecting visitors today, obviously but if they had have given us a text or a call even 30min before showing up, I wouldn’t be so annoyed.

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  2. Nyleta Sredlihc says:

    My brother showed up to my house today with his wife for no reason while I was in the bathroom with a t-shirt and no bra on, unshowered, and vomiting because I’ve been very sick today. He persistently banged on my door and rung the doorbell while I was in the bathroom floor, with not even enough energy to get up, run and find a bra to put on and run to the door to explain that I’m sick. I saw a text message after he left 5 minutes later that said: “Hey, I’m at your house”…

    My dad shows up in the afternoon sometimes after my husband works 12 hour shifts and I finally have one night where I’m not working nights and I actually have a few hours to spend with him and takes it as far as just trying to open the door and walk right in. We keep the doors locked, but we noticed he turned the doorknob first THEN decided to knock, AFTER showing up unannounced. Then he takes the whole afternoon that I had to spend with my husband for the first time in 10 days.

    His mother also shows up unannounced just to use the bathroom in between visits to other places (my brother does this too) and ends up sticking around the whole evening. She usually does this once in a blue moon we actually have a full entire day off together. I don’t know how she manages to do it.

    I don’t understand why people think this is okay to do. It’s so annoying and rude. Like, let me live my life.

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    • Too Old 4 Surprises says:

      My in-laws used to mention that they would be coming to town in June but never say exactly when or when they would be leaving! They also did this when our first child was born. They arrived after he was two weeks old and left three weeks later of course we did not know when they were leaving! It was rather rude and inconvenient to say the least! I sympathize with you!

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      • Stacey says:

        A friend of mine did a small favour for me and stayed overnight without telling me he was going to….I didn’t say anything then he tried it a second time and it didn’t work out for him…He’s now banned from coming over ever again. People jus nuh have no manners!

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      • Sarah says:

        I truly truly hate it. My sister doesn’t know how to spend time with her daughter and she’s always nagging every Sunday after church. I like my space…a lot and when I don’t pick up her nagging calls, she decides to show up every weekend (almost) unannounced! Today she did the same and it was a gloomy day that I just wanted to chill… Aarrgh. She noticed I was not into her bring here and she retorted with …why the mood swings? I just took my laptop and went upstairs! It’s time she gets the message that I have just about had it with this behavior. I need my space .

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    • Marcha says:

      Hey my sibling he comes over and bugs the crap out me starts chasing my son for kisse kiss! I’m gosh. Time time again I’m so sick it.. so had to call emergency! As it’s just ridiculous rude and disrespectful. Wat u think. He never invited.. he starts argument s. Best way!!!

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  3. Too Old 4 Surprises says:

    This almost happened to me for this coming summer! A couple of fairly close family members decided to take it upon themselves to try and make a surprise birthday visit/party to/for me! Thankfully my family intervened and told them no no no no! ( I really don’t like those kind of surprises. )
    They are a little bit perturbed with me but are coming anyway. At least now they are coming announced !
    These two family members live out of state in two different directions and I realize it is quite sweet of them to think of me in this way, but you just can’t drop in unexpectedly on someone even if the other family members are aware of it! Especially since most of the other family members don’t live under my roof anymore! LOL! These visitors never planned on staying with me but I still want to be prepared so that I can have my house clean, my calender cleared, I’d like to cook a meal or two and have some things planned to do with them while they are here. They are retired and I am not. So that raises another situation altogether. They seem to have forgetten that point LOL!
    A very unusual thing of interest here is that my mother tried to do this to me 30 years ago and now they are doing it! She raised us to know better! Was I the only one listening!? LOL!
    Well, I love them and am glad they are coming, announced! 😉👍❤️

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  4. Adam says:

    I showed up to someone’s house unannounced after not seeing her for 3 years, and I feel Awful about it. I’m not sure what to do should I apologize? I won’t do that again I just don’t want her to think I’m stalking or something. I just want to make things right

    Like

  5. Emma says:

    I work full time and am a single caregiver to a child with special needs. We have lazy Saturday and Sunday mornings (the only days we can have them). My mother is the one that shows up unannounced, never calls first. My kid and I with mops of messy hair, we’re usually dressed funny, a Guinea Pig or two afoot, me trying to cook, stuff all over the foyer, kitchen and family room after a busy week. I drop everything to get my kid ready to leave but because I’m visibly annoyed and rattle off a list of things I still need to do for her to be ready… my mom storms off saying it is all my fault because I don’t answer my phone… leaving out the crucial fact that she never called in the first place. The kid tries to stop her, mom yells at her, I yell to the kid to come back and let me finish getting her ready, mom leaves, kid cries, I yell at kid to stop crying. No matter how I say “don’t come over unannounced, if I don’t answer the phone still do not come…” it continues to happen. And no matter what, I’m the bad guy. If she’d stop doing it I would be okay being the bad guy but it keeps right on happening.

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  6. Dulce Ramirez says:

    Ugh this has been happening to me for quite some time now. I made the mistake of moving back in with my mom about 2 years ago. Well I live with my husband and my son at her house. But almost every single day my older sister who lives literally like 5 minutes away from our house vistis every day. She has 4 small children and mind you our house is super tiny. Sometimes I dont even feel like coming home because she is already there I see her at work I dont need to see her every day at my house either! and what bugs me the most is that sometimes she just drops off her children there and goes and runs errands with my mom leaving me in charge of her children without even asking!!! She will just go into my fridge and cook for her and her kids without bothering to ask. So I never have a full stocked fridge because she brings all her children to feed off it. I know I may sound rude but it’s honestly gotten to a point where we just lock ourselves in our room to not deal with the craziness going on outside. Ive talked to my mom but she just says she feels bad for her etc. What do i do?????

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    • mrsmpadilla says:

      It’s funny because my husband and I are going through something similar with my sister and her kids!! Like us, it may be time to go! We only came to save money to buy a house. Maybe it’s time for you and your family to get your own space because your Mom isn’t going to make them stop.

      Like

    • Janelle says:

      Get your OWN house. Your sister feel that’s hee mother refrigerator, her mother’s food and if you don’t like it leave hee mothers home.

      Like

  7. Solodria says:

    This happens to me now! And I feel like I’m the only one that sees something wrong with it. Glad to know I’m not. First off I have kids that I try to keep on a routine. Second I try to keep my house in order and fixed up nice. Third I dont always have enough food or drinks to share with other people. I feel like I’m the bad guy when I put my foot down and choose not to have company because my cousins seem to get upset or take it personally. I feel like what if I’m not dressed for company and dont feel like getting dressed for company. What if my house is not cleaned how I like it for company. What if I’m not home or have plans to leave. Or what if I have company over or getting ready to come over. What if I have “adult company over”. What if its that time of the month and I dont feel like being around anyone. What if I’m sick or stressing and trying to relax or recharge. I feel like call or text me first and if I dont answer then I’m definitely not up to be bothered. But I always come off as the bad guy. Like I’m mean or acting funny. Its so frustrating!!

    Like

  8. Mary N. Elder says:

    I have a family member that told me she does not like me and I am not welcome in her home. She puts on internet that she is would like all cousins to come to her home for a get- together. I am a cousin but do not want to go to her home because she has never apologised to me . Other cousins think I should come. HELP!

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  9. Shem says:

    this is by far the best of the best rule! i totally agree!i have a neighbor that i was cool with because our daughters of the same age(both 6) really get along like sisters. but man, she got to the point where she is stalking us. she told me she watches if our cars are there to know if were home. cancelled her daughter’s party and showed up at the same resort we were at unannounced knowing that we were there. popping up in the house on sunday evenings with NO text or call even after telling her to text first. one time she watched my kid when we were cool, i needed someone to watch my kiddo cause my babysitter has had an emergency, when i came home to pick my daughter up she told me she called a cop on her mom (when my daughter was there!!) like its no big deal!!also, taking my kid at the bus stop from my mom who picked her up without telling me in advance!! it is seriously creepy in a way. i was upset because our kids are good friends but now i am putting my kid’s safety at risk having her near us. she does not know boundary, and common sense reallly for that matter. i was sad to lose a friend but i choose my family over anything.

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  10. Sue says:

    I absolutely hate it, my parents used to do it then would argue they didn’t like it because I wasn’t happy to see them. Well they should have asked first! A neighbour used to send her kid round without asking first and didn’t like it when I ignored the door. I would never ever show up at anyone’s house unless we had arranged it first or it was an absolute emergency. What is wrong with some people? Get some manners!

    Like

  11. Elmore says:

    After my sister died my brother-in-law would come to town and he always did it the right way. He would be in town to watch a triple A baseball game and he would call me in advance and say he was staying at a local hotel and if I wasn’t doing anything then stop over at the hotel bar for a few beers and some food. He never wanted to inconvenience me or anyone else. He would never try to stay at my house He also understood that if I had plans and couldn’t see him that he would not be mad and if not this time well maybe next time we could get together. He has since passed away and I will always remember him for his kindness and respect for other people.

    My brother did not like him and often said that our sister could have done better, but ironically my brother’s wife is an unfeeling, cold, self-centered person and her nonstop talking would drive me crazy. My brother-in-law always knew that the rest of my family did not like him and I found out that my sister-in-law’s nonstop taking drove him crazy as well. Now as I grow older I think my brother could have done better and maybe he could of married a woman that was thoughtful, loving, caring and had respect for others.

    Like

  12. A. Gideon Hounschell says:

    You know why I ended up reading this? Because my father and his 7th wife just showed up unannounced. Clearly, she is unaware of boundaries, as she does other cringey things, but he knows better. They are here to plant things in my garden. I’m ok with that. Im not a gardener and they enjoy it. I’m not ok with having my sleep interrupted (I work graveyards) and having people in my messy, unprepared bubble! I also suffer from anxiety attacks and THIS is a trigger EVERY SINGLE TIME! It’s NEVER ok to do this to someone else!

    Like

  13. Ashleigh Olsen says:

    Omg THANK YOU for writing this so perfectly!!!! I hate it when people “pop in” or “rock up” it drives me to want to never see them again. Rude, rude, rude! Unless your car broke down and you had no cell phone reception or there is crazy circumstances I never want someone showing up unannounced!
    I don’t even want to move in with my boyfriend cos of his friends and families habit of popping in. I mean some of them walk straight into the house!

    Like

  14. Serena says:

    I have been married for 12 years and my father in law has been doing this to us for 12 years, he has caused so many arguements between me and my husband because he turns up randomly and unanounced. On Saturday we were out, I came back with the kids at 2:15pm I said to the kids to get changed into somethinh warm and we all went upstairs, however I needed to use the toilet. The following day my father in law called my husband and said ‘I came to your home I knocked on the door, rang the bell you didn’t open the door, I thought you were ignoring me so I drank a lot and nearly died’ now when my husband told me this I got very angry and said ‘FFS I was in the toilet, kids were changing, why doesn’t he call it’s so fresh to do that’ my husband first though I was ignoring his dad howver luckily my kids said no mum is right no one banged on the door. I looked back at the CCTV and saw he rang the Ring doorbell once and did not knock on the door like he said, he drinks more than that on every occasion and hasn’t passed out because my brother in law would have called me, he turns up at weird, awkward times without calling and just expects us to be here. I feel like he is emotionally blackmailing my husband, he wants a key to the home and he wants us to make him a room here for him. He lied to my husband, my sister in law said her dad is a very selfish person and he is. We have to accomodate every time he comes and my husband told him for 12 years call before you come. We nearly didn’t have a second child because my father in law needs babysitting and turns up at stupid o clock. Honestly so fed up bust glad I am not alone.

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