Okay, so let me tell you about a pet peeve of mine…people showing up at my house unannounced! Now I know for some people this is not really a problem. In fact, my Granny’s house is the “pop up” house even though it is now inhabited by my Aunt. We still “drop in” to visit or say “hi” because it is welcomed and has been for over 40 years! Yet, if at any given moment my Auntie wanted to change this rule, it would be her right to do so because it is her house. But it has not changed and we are still able to “Pop up” unannounced. But here at the Padilla Estates, that ish don’t fly!
I have had to deal with this in the past with people on both sides of the fence (his family and mine), who thought it was okay to violate the rules and the regulations that govern the household that the King (My Husband) and I have set in place. It was causing tension, stress and intense fellowship in our home. Until I put my foot down and Shut. It. Down!
For a couple of years everything was going smoothly and there was much peace in the Kingdom…until recently someone (a past violator) made a crude joke about it and I felt the need rise up in me to share reasons why this is unacceptable in case it was not understood the first time!
- It’s just RUDE and Disrespectful. – Every household has certain rules that must be followed when you go to a person’s home… ‘Take off your shoes at the door’, ‘No Smoking’, ‘No swearing’,…things like that. So if my rule is that you call or text before you come over (and I don’t mean when you are sitting out in front of my house) then you’re doing nothing but being rude and disrespectful to the rules that have been set in place at my home and you do not deserve to even step foot through my door.
- I’m not at home. – I’m sorry (not really), but I don’t just sit around all day waiting on people to pop up at my house unannounced. I have a life and by you coming to my house without notice finding that we are not there only wastes your time and gas when you could have just easily just shot a quick text or given a call.
- Common Courtesy/Pick up the damn phone! – How hard is it to shoot a text or give a quick call to let me know you are on your way? Or at least to see if I am even there or available to see you? You can text and call about other silly stuff, but you can’t let me know you’re five minutes away from my house or around the corner?
- I didn’t feel like cleaning up today. – For those who know me, they know that I CANNOT STAND a junky house and I definitely can’t stand letting other people see it! I like a clean, clutter-free, organized environment that smells good and looks like it was designed by an HGTV star! (Product of being a daughter of a woman with mild OCD…I’m using the word mild to be nice ;-)) Yet, we are a family of five (5) and lead very busy lives so there are some rare occasions we come home and are so tired that we just drop everything and don’t feel like picking up after ourselves. So the dishes might not have made it to the dishwasher or the carpet hasn’t been vacuumed or the bathroom trash hasn’t been removed. In any case, I don’t want to have to stress over wondering whether or not someone is about to pop up at my house when I’m already exhausted from a long day.
- I have other plans that have now been upheld (inconvenient) – I have 10 minutes to get to where I have to go and you just pulled up in my driveway (if I had one and didn’t live in a condo) blocking my car in, talking about “Oh, were you leaving? I needed to talk to you.” All of this could have been avoided and you could have kept that good gas in your car if you had just done #3. I know that sometimes you need a face to face sit down with someone, but even in that instance a quick text or call would have let you know if I were available.
- We’re not cool like that! – Listen, I don’t care if we are family (whether by blood or marriage), if you and I are not cool like that then don’t think that by popping up unannounced it will make us cool like that! My MOMMA doesn’t even show up at my house unannounced so why do YOU think that you can and we’re not even tight like that? I don’t care if you’re coming to see someone other than me. This is my house and we have RULES just like you have at your house! If you can’t follow the rules of my house then you definitely aren’t welcome!
- I don’t want to be bothered today. – Say we are cool, but I just don’t want to see anyone today (this may include the people I live with, but whatcha gonna do? *shrug). Everyone deserves time to themselves; peace and quiet away from other people just to clear their minds. You showing up unannounced can disturb that and now we’re not cool because I just slammed the door in your face!
- I don’t want to see you! – Not to be rude (if I haven’t been already) but sometimes I just don’t want to see you. If you have been calling, texting and, IM’ing me and I have not responded, but you see I have been posting on social media, so you know I am alive. This is not an invitation for you to show up at my house to “check on me”. I don’t need you to check on me. Obviously I need you to leave me alone because I am clearly avoiding you for some reason.
- I already have company. – You are not the only friend or family member that I have in my life and sometimes I like to enjoy the company of other people (who have called in advance). Now don’t get offended that I didn’t invite you to hang with us because you and that other person may not get along like that. So this is to avoid a very awkward situation or the feeling of you being a 3rd We’re still cool, but I think it is best if we see other people… It’s not me; it’s you…because you keep showing up at my house unannounced!
- You’re not welcome at my house. – If you have come to my house causing mess in the past then you are not welcome in my home! We have PEACE that abides at the Padilla Estate and we will NOT have anyone coming and disturbing it! It’s tight, but right. Especially, if the reason is that we don’t get along or we don’t like each other for whatever reason. Why are you even showing up at my house anyway? Don’t say you didn’t think I would be here, I LIVE HERE! And you would have known I was home if you had done #3! It just makes me think that you are trying to disrespect and threaten me and in that case you want these hands…to anoint and Bless you and Slay you in the Spirit ( I am a Christian woman ;D)!
So to make a long post longer…You wouldn’t want someone showing up at your house causing havoc and disturbing your peace, so why would you think it was okay for you to do it to someone else? You may think it is harmless, but for some people it is not. It’s downright disrespectful, inconvenient and rude! So next time you think of “dropping by” to say hello or visit, show some common courtesy! Pick up the phone and shoot a quick text. But, if you still don’t agree with the rules and regulations of a person’s home, for whatever reason, then just don’t go over at all!
Have you ever had to deal with people showing up at your home unannounced? Do you agree or disagree with today’s post? Why or why not? Leave a comment below.