Okay, so let me tell you about a pet peeve of mine…people showing up at my house 
unannounced! Now I know for some people this is not really a problem. In fact, my Granny’s house is the “pop up” house even though it is now inhabited by my Aunt. We still “drop in” to visit or say “hi” because it is welcomed and has been for over 40 years! Yet, if at any given moment my Auntie wanted to change this rule, it would be her right to do so because it is her house. But it has not changed and we are still able to “Pop up” unannounced. But here at the Padilla Estates, that ish don’t fly!
I have had to deal with this in the past with people on both sides of the fence (his family and mine), who thought it was okay to violate the rules and the regulations that govern the household that the King (My Husband) and I have set in place. It was causing tension, stress and intense fellowship in our home. Until I put my foot down and Shut. It. Down!
For a couple of years everything was going smoothly and there was much peace in the Kingdom…until recently someone (a past violator) made a crude joke about it and I felt the need rise up in me to share reasons why this is unacceptable in case it was not understood the first time!
- It’s just RUDE and Disrespectful. – Every household has certain rules that must be followed when you go to a person’s home… ‘Take off your shoes at the door’, ‘No Smoking’, ‘No swearing’,…things like that. So if my rule is that you call or text before you come over (and I don’t mean when you are sitting out in front of my house) then you’re doing nothing but being rude and disrespectful to the rules that have been set in place at my home and you do not deserve to even step foot through my door.
- I’m not at home. – I’m sorry (not really), but I don’t just sit around all day waiting on people to pop up at my house unannounced. I have a life and by you coming to my house without notice finding that we are not there only wastes your time and gas when you could have just easily just shot a quick text or given a call.
- Common Courtesy/Pick up the damn phone! – How hard is it to shoot a text or give a quick call to let me know you are on your way? Or at least to see if I am even there or available to see you? You can text and call about other silly stuff, but you can’t let me know you’re five minutes away from my house or around the corner?
- I didn’t feel like cleaning up today. – For those who know me, they know that I CANNOT STAND a junky house and I definitely can’t stand letting other people see it! I like a clean, clutter-free, organized environment that smells good and looks like it was designed by an HGTV star! (Product of being a daughter of a woman with mild OCD…I’m using the word mild to be nice ;-)) Yet, we are a family of five (5) and lead very busy lives so there are some rare occasions we come home and are so tired that we just drop everything and don’t feel like picking up after ourselves. So the dishes might not have made it to the dishwasher or the carpet hasn’t been vacuumed or the bathroom trash hasn’t been removed. In any case, I don’t want to have to stress over wondering whether or not someone is about to pop up at my house when I’m already exhausted from a long day.
- I have other plans that have now been upheld (inconvenient) – I have 10 minutes to get to where I have to go and you just pulled up in my driveway (if I had one and didn’t live in a condo) blocking my car in, talking about “Oh, were you leaving? I needed to talk to you.” All of this could have been avoided and you could have kept that good gas in your car if you had just done #3. I know that sometimes you need a face to face sit down with someone, but even in that instance a quick text or call would have let you know if I were available.
- We’re not cool like that! – Listen, I don’t care if we are family (whether by blood or marriage), if you and I are not cool like that then don’t think that by popping up unannounced it will make us cool like that! My MOMMA doesn’t even show up at my house unannounced so why do YOU think that you can and we’re not even tight like that? I don’t care if you’re coming to see someone other than me. This is my house and we have RULES just like you have at your house! If you can’t follow the rules of my house then you definitely aren’t welcome!
- I don’t want to be bothered today. – Say we are cool, but I just don’t want to see anyone today (this may include the people I live with, but whatcha gonna do? *shrug). Everyone deserves time to themselves; peace and quiet away from other people just to clear their minds. You showing up unannounced can disturb that and now we’re not cool because I just slammed the door in your face!
- I don’t want to see you! – Not to be rude (if I haven’t been already) but sometimes I just don’t want to see you. If you have been calling, texting and, IM’ing me and I have not responded, but you see I have been posting on social media, so you know I am alive. This is not an invitation for you to show up at my house to “check on me”. I don’t need you to check on me. Obviously I need you to leave me alone because I am clearly avoiding you for some reason.
- I already have company. – You are not the only friend or family member that I have in my life and sometimes I like to enjoy the company of other people (who have called in advance). Now don’t get offended that I didn’t invite you to hang with us because you and that other person may not get along like that. So this is to avoid a very awkward situation or the feeling of you being a 3rd We’re still cool, but I think it is best if we see other people… It’s not me; it’s you…because you keep showing up at my house unannounced!
- You’re not welcome at my house. – If you have come to my house causing mess in the past then you are not welcome in my home! We have PEACE that abides at the Padilla Estate and we will NOT have anyone coming and disturbing it! It’s tight, but right. Especially, if the reason is that we don’t get along or we don’t like each other for whatever reason. Why are you even showing up at my house anyway? Don’t say you didn’t think I would be here, I LIVE HERE! And you would have known I was home if you had done #3! It just makes me think that you are trying to disrespect and threaten me and in that case you want these hands…to anoint and Bless you and Slay you in the Spirit ( I am a Christian woman ;D)!
So to make a long post longer…You wouldn’t want someone showing up at your house causing havoc and disturbing your peace, so why would you think it was okay for you to do it to someone else? You may think it is harmless, but for some people it is not. It’s downright disrespectful, inconvenient and rude! So next time you think of “dropping by” to say hello or visit, show some common courtesy! Pick up the phone and shoot a quick text. But, if you still don’t agree with the rules and regulations of a person’s home, for whatever reason, then just don’t go over at all!
Have you ever had to deal with people showing up at your home unannounced? Do you agree or disagree with today’s post? Why or why not? Leave a comment below.
mrsmpadilla 
Yes and he almost ran over my dog. I’ve tried to tell him to call or text before coming but he just ignores my request.
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Ditch stupid, rude friends, who needs them anyway.
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Yes we have a couple who do this and I hate it. I have asked her to call first and we have even told them we are not up for company and here they come anyway. They think they are here to cheer me up. Then they say…oh it’s just me like they a re e some exception. I had to look this subject up just to make sure I’m not some jerk that doesn’t appreciate my friends, but I do think it is so totally rude for all the reasons mentioned and I am an introvert and very much treasure my alone time.
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I really hate this. We have a couple who do this. I have asked her to call first and we have even told them we are not up for company but here they come anyway. And then she says.. oh it’s just me like she is some special exception. Or they think I need some cheering up. It really drives me crazy and then you have to put on the happy face and tolerate their company for 2 to 3 hours. I just don’t understand how this is ok with some people like they totally don’t mind for their privacy or plans to be disrupted. I had to look this subject up to make sure I am not some jerk who doesn’t appreciate her friends but I do think it is rude for all of the reasons mentioned.
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Thank you for saying all this!!!! It’s exactly what I, and I’m willing to wager most normal people, think all.the.time.
I have started to dread the weekend because I have people showing up unannounced. Suddenly because I have two kids under two, it means it’s a perfect time to start the sneak attack pop ins. And so I will not let you in and we will chat outside and I will be cool not warm to you. And wait until winter when you pop up and think it’s too cold to stand outside. Now try cool and try me: I can stand being pretty cold to avoid letting you in. Further, I had a popper-over complain ‘we come over and you don’t let us in your house’. Tragic. Why would you think that just bc you’re free its a good time for me? I’m baffled . You don’t care if I’m in my pyjamas? Well I do!!! You don’t care if the house is a mess? Well again, I do!!!! And if you cannot respect me asking you to not pop over then you’re getting invited because you’ve shown me you’re not mature or respectful enough of me to come into my home. Thanks for making me feel less shitty about hating pop over visits.
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It doesn’t matter how many times you tell them to text first, they don’t care. They’re extremely selfish and immature. What is says is “In this relationship, I (the visitor) am the only one that matters. You are irrelevant except as a listening/venting receptacle”. They drop in so they can keep you hostage, listening to their ’emergency’ for as many hours as they like and damn what you wanted to do that day. I am now in the process of having a security fence installed. It’s the only option I have left.
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This guy who grew up down the street from me, thinks it’s ok to stop by when he goes to visit his mom. Mainly he reminisces about when we were young but he feels we have some type of connection with our past. We don’t! He is able to communicate with me through Facebook if needed, but he never utilizes it. I didn’t let him in on the the last UNANNOUNCED visit and my reason was “dude it’s still a pandemic”. I will not answer my door from now on.
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I frigging HATE IT. It’s always my mom, she is the worst about it & she’s done it a couple times now, at my old place when I lived alone(and a lot closer) and now, where I live w/my husband about 40mins away from both our families, for just that reason, so we can’t be the go-to’s during the week for help, etc, WE have our own lives, pets, home to deal with. If I don’t have the time to call you back, what makes you think just showing up & throwing a GIANT wrench in my daily routine is gonna make me happy to see you? I will always love you, but my g-d I am a 40yr old woman, if I’ve survived this long, what makes you think all of a sudden I would die & disappear w/out a trace or you hearing of the horrible tragedy from somewhere/someone, like IDK my husband??
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OMGosh….this!!! A few days ago, my SIL called, first on the house phone and promptly hung up before I could answer it! and then on my cell phone. “Hi we are at xyz (5 minutes away) & is it OK if we stop over?” I said truthfully that I was just leaving to go meet my daughter….but DH was here. He said Sure come on over. So I high-tailed it out of the house – couldn’t get out fast enough!! LOL!!! My house is NEVER guest-ready, while hers looks like it came out of a magazine. Plus we just met them for lunch a couple weeks ago and keep in touch by phone/email – there is nothing new to talk about!!! I hate “visiting” whereas she loves it. (I’m in introvert – sue me!). She said she wanted to see our garden. It’s not that wonderful! So DH called me after they left – two and a half hours later!!! They never know when to leave, which is another thing that bugs me. A couple Thanksgivings ago, they stayed at our house almost THREE HOURS longer than all the other guests. I thought they’d never leave!!! I had a splitting headache and was exhausted, and all I wanted to do was take some aspirin and lay down. Instead I had to keep listening to their drivel. If I had it to do over, I would just excuse myself and let DH carry on. It’s his sister!!! I’m so glad to learn I am not the only one who is annoyed by this kind of thing. 🙂
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Completely agree. I hate unannounced visiting. My dad’s brother just showed up, its a Sunday it’s the period between Christmas and New year, me and my mum are lying on the sofa still in our pyjamas at 3.30pm because we feel like it. The vacuum hasn’t been done the dishes from our breakfast are in the sink. We weren’t expecting visitors today, obviously but if they had have given us a text or a call even 30min before showing up, I wouldn’t be so annoyed.
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This happened to me today, AGAIN. My husband’s parents live about 15-20 minutes away from us and are retired and always say that they’re bored. So, I’m about two minutes into my home exercise routine when I hear the doorbell ring. I think one or both of our teenaged daughters upstairs is going to answer the door, but it’s not fast enough. They ring the doorbell a second time! Our daughter answers and I’m coming upstairs a little out of breath. I tell them that I was just starting to exercise when they say they wanted to see how the new furniture looked in our rooms. I didn’t act as warm and friendly as I normally do thinking they would get the hint. But, no, they just kept talking and even went to our basement to sit on one of our couches. I didn’t sit down and kept hinting that I wanted to get back to exercising by drinking my water and talking about the exercise videos on my phone. After about 10-15 minutes, his mom finally said they should leave and “let us get back to what we were doing.” It’s so unbelievable. Don’t get me wrong. They do a lot of things for us, but we find it maddening. We even discussed it with them in the past which helped the situation for a while, but it’s back to the same old routine. I personally want to say something not so nice because I find it to be very rude, but don’t want to start World War 3, especially with our daughters around. I guess I will just have to tell them someday when I’m not so upset about it.
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My brother showed up to my house today with his wife for no reason while I was in the bathroom with a t-shirt and no bra on, unshowered, and vomiting because I’ve been very sick today. He persistently banged on my door and rung the doorbell while I was in the bathroom floor, with not even enough energy to get up, run and find a bra to put on and run to the door to explain that I’m sick. I saw a text message after he left 5 minutes later that said: “Hey, I’m at your house”…
My dad shows up in the afternoon sometimes after my husband works 12 hour shifts and I finally have one night where I’m not working nights and I actually have a few hours to spend with him and takes it as far as just trying to open the door and walk right in. We keep the doors locked, but we noticed he turned the doorknob first THEN decided to knock, AFTER showing up unannounced. Then he takes the whole afternoon that I had to spend with my husband for the first time in 10 days.
His mother also shows up unannounced just to use the bathroom in between visits to other places (my brother does this too) and ends up sticking around the whole evening. She usually does this once in a blue moon we actually have a full entire day off together. I don’t know how she manages to do it.
I don’t understand why people think this is okay to do. It’s so annoying and rude. Like, let me live my life.
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My in-laws used to mention that they would be coming to town in June but never say exactly when or when they would be leaving! They also did this when our first child was born. They arrived after he was two weeks old and left three weeks later of course we did not know when they were leaving! It was rather rude and inconvenient to say the least! I sympathize with you!
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A friend of mine did a small favour for me and stayed overnight without telling me he was going to….I didn’t say anything then he tried it a second time and it didn’t work out for him…He’s now banned from coming over ever again. People jus nuh have no manners!
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I truly truly hate it. My sister doesn’t know how to spend time with her daughter and she’s always nagging every Sunday after church. I like my space…a lot and when I don’t pick up her nagging calls, she decides to show up every weekend (almost) unannounced! Today she did the same and it was a gloomy day that I just wanted to chill… Aarrgh. She noticed I was not into her bring here and she retorted with …why the mood swings? I just took my laptop and went upstairs! It’s time she gets the message that I have just about had it with this behavior. I need my space .
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Hey my sibling he comes over and bugs the crap out me starts chasing my son for kisse kiss! I’m gosh. Time time again I’m so sick it.. so had to call emergency! As it’s just ridiculous rude and disrespectful. Wat u think. He never invited.. he starts argument s. Best way!!!
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This almost happened to me for this coming summer! A couple of fairly close family members decided to take it upon themselves to try and make a surprise birthday visit/party to/for me! Thankfully my family intervened and told them no no no no! ( I really don’t like those kind of surprises. )
They are a little bit perturbed with me but are coming anyway. At least now they are coming announced !
These two family members live out of state in two different directions and I realize it is quite sweet of them to think of me in this way, but you just can’t drop in unexpectedly on someone even if the other family members are aware of it! Especially since most of the other family members don’t live under my roof anymore! LOL! These visitors never planned on staying with me but I still want to be prepared so that I can have my house clean, my calender cleared, I’d like to cook a meal or two and have some things planned to do with them while they are here. They are retired and I am not. So that raises another situation altogether. They seem to have forgetten that point LOL!
A very unusual thing of interest here is that my mother tried to do this to me 30 years ago and now they are doing it! She raised us to know better! Was I the only one listening!? LOL!
Well, I love them and am glad they are coming, announced! 😉👍❤️
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I showed up to someone’s house unannounced after not seeing her for 3 years, and I feel Awful about it. I’m not sure what to do should I apologize? I won’t do that again I just don’t want her to think I’m stalking or something. I just want to make things right
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i feel the same way i live in apartments and my mom has a friend i call my aunt and she has two kids i used to walk to school them everyday but after school i would go over there unannounced now it is just eating at me and bothering me now that i`m older what should i do? p.s.i was 11 years old
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If you’re not still doing it or they have not expressed a problem with it, there isn’t anything for you to do. But if you’re still going over there unannounced, and think they get irritated by it, just start calling or texting first. Like, “Hey, is it ok if I swing by a moment?” Little courteous things like that go a long way. You can’t change the past, just do better in the future.
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I work full time and am a single caregiver to a child with special needs. We have lazy Saturday and Sunday mornings (the only days we can have them). My mother is the one that shows up unannounced, never calls first. My kid and I with mops of messy hair, we’re usually dressed funny, a Guinea Pig or two afoot, me trying to cook, stuff all over the foyer, kitchen and family room after a busy week. I drop everything to get my kid ready to leave but because I’m visibly annoyed and rattle off a list of things I still need to do for her to be ready… my mom storms off saying it is all my fault because I don’t answer my phone… leaving out the crucial fact that she never called in the first place. The kid tries to stop her, mom yells at her, I yell to the kid to come back and let me finish getting her ready, mom leaves, kid cries, I yell at kid to stop crying. No matter how I say “don’t come over unannounced, if I don’t answer the phone still do not come…” it continues to happen. And no matter what, I’m the bad guy. If she’d stop doing it I would be okay being the bad guy but it keeps right on happening.
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That’s horrible and so disrespectful! I’m so sorry that keeps happening.
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Ugh this has been happening to me for quite some time now. I made the mistake of moving back in with my mom about 2 years ago. Well I live with my husband and my son at her house. But almost every single day my older sister who lives literally like 5 minutes away from our house vistis every day. She has 4 small children and mind you our house is super tiny. Sometimes I dont even feel like coming home because she is already there I see her at work I dont need to see her every day at my house either! and what bugs me the most is that sometimes she just drops off her children there and goes and runs errands with my mom leaving me in charge of her children without even asking!!! She will just go into my fridge and cook for her and her kids without bothering to ask. So I never have a full stocked fridge because she brings all her children to feed off it. I know I may sound rude but it’s honestly gotten to a point where we just lock ourselves in our room to not deal with the craziness going on outside. Ive talked to my mom but she just says she feels bad for her etc. What do i do?????
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It’s funny because my husband and I are going through something similar with my sister and her kids!! Like us, it may be time to go! We only came to save money to buy a house. Maybe it’s time for you and your family to get your own space because your Mom isn’t going to make them stop.
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Get your OWN house. Your sister feel that’s hee mother refrigerator, her mother’s food and if you don’t like it leave hee mothers home.
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This happens to me now! And I feel like I’m the only one that sees something wrong with it. Glad to know I’m not. First off I have kids that I try to keep on a routine. Second I try to keep my house in order and fixed up nice. Third I dont always have enough food or drinks to share with other people. I feel like I’m the bad guy when I put my foot down and choose not to have company because my cousins seem to get upset or take it personally. I feel like what if I’m not dressed for company and dont feel like getting dressed for company. What if my house is not cleaned how I like it for company. What if I’m not home or have plans to leave. Or what if I have company over or getting ready to come over. What if I have “adult company over”. What if its that time of the month and I dont feel like being around anyone. What if I’m sick or stressing and trying to relax or recharge. I feel like call or text me first and if I dont answer then I’m definitely not up to be bothered. But I always come off as the bad guy. Like I’m mean or acting funny. Its so frustrating!!
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I have a family member that told me she does not like me and I am not welcome in her home. She puts on internet that she is would like all cousins to come to her home for a get- together. I am a cousin but do not want to go to her home because she has never apologised to me . Other cousins think I should come. HELP!
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If she doesn’t personally invite you, don’t go. She already told you she don’t like you. Have your own get together with family or friends or both and exclude her. Done.
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this is by far the best of the best rule! i totally agree!i have a neighbor that i was cool with because our daughters of the same age(both 6) really get along like sisters. but man, she got to the point where she is stalking us. she told me she watches if our cars are there to know if were home. cancelled her daughter’s party and showed up at the same resort we were at unannounced knowing that we were there. popping up in the house on sunday evenings with NO text or call even after telling her to text first. one time she watched my kid when we were cool, i needed someone to watch my kiddo cause my babysitter has had an emergency, when i came home to pick my daughter up she told me she called a cop on her mom (when my daughter was there!!) like its no big deal!!also, taking my kid at the bus stop from my mom who picked her up without telling me in advance!! it is seriously creepy in a way. i was upset because our kids are good friends but now i am putting my kid’s safety at risk having her near us. she does not know boundary, and common sense reallly for that matter. i was sad to lose a friend but i choose my family over anything.
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I absolutely hate it, my parents used to do it then would argue they didn’t like it because I wasn’t happy to see them. Well they should have asked first! A neighbour used to send her kid round without asking first and didn’t like it when I ignored the door. I would never ever show up at anyone’s house unless we had arranged it first or it was an absolute emergency. What is wrong with some people? Get some manners!
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After my sister died my brother-in-law would come to town and he always did it the right way. He would be in town to watch a triple A baseball game and he would call me in advance and say he was staying at a local hotel and if I wasn’t doing anything then stop over at the hotel bar for a few beers and some food. He never wanted to inconvenience me or anyone else. He would never try to stay at my house He also understood that if I had plans and couldn’t see him that he would not be mad and if not this time well maybe next time we could get together. He has since passed away and I will always remember him for his kindness and respect for other people.
My brother did not like him and often said that our sister could have done better, but ironically my brother’s wife is an unfeeling, cold, self-centered person and her nonstop talking would drive me crazy. My brother-in-law always knew that the rest of my family did not like him and I found out that my sister-in-law’s nonstop taking drove him crazy as well. Now as I grow older I think my brother could have done better and maybe he could of married a woman that was thoughtful, loving, caring and had respect for others.
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You know why I ended up reading this? Because my father and his 7th wife just showed up unannounced. Clearly, she is unaware of boundaries, as she does other cringey things, but he knows better. They are here to plant things in my garden. I’m ok with that. Im not a gardener and they enjoy it. I’m not ok with having my sleep interrupted (I work graveyards) and having people in my messy, unprepared bubble! I also suffer from anxiety attacks and THIS is a trigger EVERY SINGLE TIME! It’s NEVER ok to do this to someone else!
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Omg THANK YOU for writing this so perfectly!!!! I hate it when people “pop in” or “rock up” it drives me to want to never see them again. Rude, rude, rude! Unless your car broke down and you had no cell phone reception or there is crazy circumstances I never want someone showing up unannounced!
I don’t even want to move in with my boyfriend cos of his friends and families habit of popping in. I mean some of them walk straight into the house!
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I have been married for 12 years and my father in law has been doing this to us for 12 years, he has caused so many arguements between me and my husband because he turns up randomly and unanounced. On Saturday we were out, I came back with the kids at 2:15pm I said to the kids to get changed into somethinh warm and we all went upstairs, however I needed to use the toilet. The following day my father in law called my husband and said ‘I came to your home I knocked on the door, rang the bell you didn’t open the door, I thought you were ignoring me so I drank a lot and nearly died’ now when my husband told me this I got very angry and said ‘FFS I was in the toilet, kids were changing, why doesn’t he call it’s so fresh to do that’ my husband first though I was ignoring his dad howver luckily my kids said no mum is right no one banged on the door. I looked back at the CCTV and saw he rang the Ring doorbell once and did not knock on the door like he said, he drinks more than that on every occasion and hasn’t passed out because my brother in law would have called me, he turns up at weird, awkward times without calling and just expects us to be here. I feel like he is emotionally blackmailing my husband, he wants a key to the home and he wants us to make him a room here for him. He lied to my husband, my sister in law said her dad is a very selfish person and he is. We have to accomodate every time he comes and my husband told him for 12 years call before you come. We nearly didn’t have a second child because my father in law needs babysitting and turns up at stupid o clock. Honestly so fed up bust glad I am not alone.
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This is an old post but even in 2020 folks STILL are doing this pop in/up mess.
I’ve never in all my life heard of ANYBODY doing what happened to me until today…& yes I’m still pissed about it & will be from here on out.
This broad I work with not only popped up at my house but to add insult to injury I NEVER TOLD THIS BROAD WHERE I LIVE!!! She popped up UNANNOUNCED at my house banging on my door AND windows like the police & almost got her & her dwarf daughters ___ whooped. I have to leave blanks b/c Lord knows I said a mouth full already giving her the business.
She showed up stating she FOLLOWED ME FROM WORK WEEKS AGO & did so B/C ALL HER EMAIL ATTEMPTS ASKING FOR MY PHONE NUMBER WENT IGNORED.
CLARIFICATION: I’m not obligated to give you a response to ANYTHING. I’ve always gone by the best response is NO response. We don’t work in the same department. I got 2 promotions and left the department she used to be in. Previously she begged me to do her resume FOR her (just to give brief background) & I told her NO not only to the resume, but also NO my phone number. This occurred MONTHS ago (October 2019 to be exact).
But from the moment she showed up to be honest BAYYYYYYBEEEEEE I didn’t care WHAT her excuse was, there was NOTHING else to say. PERIODT. I don’t care the reason. I don’t care about your age. You & your daughter can get it. Once you disrespect me, my respect for elders goes out the window. She’s in her 50’s, I’m in my 30’s & yes an older woman, older man, dog, cat, dwarf, kid or anything/anybody who puts themselves in a place to be dealt with, should be able to take whatever repercussion may follow. Some of that “ask & you shall receive”
I AM SO MAD STILL (jusssssssssssst in case you can’t tell). Once I went off & started walking toward them, She literally said nothing & they both left sitting outside my house for like 2 more minutes in the car with stupid looks on their faces.
Did i mention how mad I am? I feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo disrespected. If someone IGNORES YOUR DUMB ___ & REFUSES TO GIVE YOU THEIR PHONE NUMBER COMMON SENSE WOULD DICTATE THEY DON’T WANNA BE BOTHERED WITH YOU. So you SERIOUSLY think gee they won’t give me their number, I think I’ll just follow them from work?
I don’t care what anybody says SHOULDN’T NOBODY HAVE TO TELL ANYBODY NOT TO STALK THEM!!! This was some BULL & had I been ig’nit & played the card “oh I thought they were tryna break in so I shot them (which people HAVE done) then I’d be the “bad guy” when this trash shoulda kept her & the little garbage bag she made AWAY FROM MY HOME!!!
I THOUGHT me typing all that out woulda made me feel better but NOPE I’m STILL MAD
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Wow! That is creepy beyond belief and I definitely understand why you would be angry. Hopefully she learned her lesson because that definitely was out of order!
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GIRL who you tellin’?! It’s very creepy but the main feeling KEEP coming across is feeling mad disrespected.
You’d think she would’ve learned. But to my surprise, I arrived at work today and the dunce had the nerve to send me another email saying she didn’t understand why I went off & leaving her number begging me to call her.
I seriously feel like this is 1 encounter away from me earning my very first assault charge & likely conviction… proudly.
I feel so violated. I don’t combine work with work/home. Once I leave that building all involved there, stays there until I return. I’ve done that purposefully for years keeping the 2 world’s separate flawlessly. For this creature (that’s the nicest thing I could say considering) to invite itself to my home world made me seriously feel like it was an invasion.
Every person I told what happened they too reached their own levels of shock then disbelief then slight rage; asking WHO DOES THAT?, “What was she thinking?” My answer is I don’t care. I don’t welcome strays.
The email received today proved that clearly my going off wasn’t enough… but I can show her better than I can tell her.
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My nephew (who I haven’t spoken to in 7 years) showed up at my house at 8 a.m. in the morning. To make matters worse, I did not give him or anyone else my current address. To make matters even worse, we are in the midst of a PANDEMIC.
I live in the middle of nowhere, so I know that you weren’t “just in the neighborhood.”
What’s wrong with people?? I hate the internet and I hate that people can look you up and find your address, especially if you have an unusual name.
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Wow! Definitely should have called, written a letter or something other than dropping on your door step. What did you do?!
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Linda, we were dead sleep. So for the first few minutes my husband talked to him through the door trying to figure out who the hell he was. Then my husband tried to explain that we were in a pandemic and that it was unsafe to be around each other.
My nephew (who drove 2 hours out his way to come over) explained that he had his wife and three kids with and said we could keep our distance. Anyway, we eventually let them in and opened the windows and sat a good distance away from each other. They stayed for about an hour and a half.
It was a nice enough visit considering, but I am still somewhat irritated that someone would be that forward. I can’t wrap my head around why anyone would drive that far unannounced to visit someone they haven’t spoken to in years.
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One of my friends did this 3 times and the 3rd time he did it he was being a total creep. He comes up unannounced also he docent even live close either witch is even more strange. Also the 3rd time he came up unannounced I was finished with him I like to think he finally gets it but idk.
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Why does the author assume her aunt does not mind the unannounced visits just because her granny didn’t mind? Weird, considering the points made in the article!
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I do not assume that my aunt does not mind. I know my aunt does not mind because she has stated as such. I also said, if she was to ever change her mind, it is her right to do so and we must all follow her new rule.
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This happened to me today, AGAIN. My husband’s parents live about 15-20 minutes away from us and are retired and say that they’re bored. So, I’m about two minutes into my home exercise routine when I hear the doorbell ring. I think one or both of our teenaged daughters upstairs is going to answer the door, but it’s not fast enough, so they ring the doorbell a second time. Our daughter answers and I’m coming upstairs a little out of breath. I tell you them that I was just starting to exercise when they say they wanted to see how the new furniture looked in our rooms. I didn’t act as warm and friendly as I normally do thinking they would get the hint. But, no, they jay kept talking and even went to our basement to sit on one of our couches. I didn’t sit down and kept hinting that I wanted to get back to exercising by drinking my water and talking about the exercise videos on my phone. After about 10-15 minutes, his mom finally said they should leave and let us get back to what we were doing. They do a lot of things for us, but we find it maddening. We even discussed it with them in the past which helped the situation for a while, but it’s back to the same old routine. I personally want to say something not so nice because I find it to be very rude, but don’t want to start World War 3, especially with our daughters around. Will just have to tell them someday when I’m not so upset about it.
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Not only do they never call first, and just pop up with smiles on their faces…they always have a tendency to show up, as you are cooking dinner. In my house now, there are only three of us. So if I have about let’s say, 4 Pork Chops and I already started cooking, before they arrived, I now have to go into the freezer, and break out the extra ones, that were for the week. Rarely do they say no or : “Oh no, thank you, we stopped to eat somewhere, on the way over here”.
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This is an old entry but I just found it because I wanted to justify to my SO that I am not the only one who feels this way. His family is a pop over unannounced and it drives me INSANE! I feel this post so much, lol.
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It might be an old post, but as you can see there are a lot of people, myself still included that feel this is very intrusive and disrespectful. I still don’t understand why people can’t just shoot a quick text…🤷🏾♀️
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I agree 100 percent and I’m sick of being made to feel like I’m the one that has the problem. I was actually told that I was acting like a spoiled brat when I didn’t come out of my room because they didn’t have the decency to call first. I was still in bed when they showed up so thats where I stayed.
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I agree 100 percent and I’m sick of being made to feel like I’m the one that has the problem. I was actually told that I was acting like a spoiled brat when I didn’t come out of my room because they didn’t have the decency to call first. I was still in bed when they showed up so thats where I stayed.
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I recently had to correct my sister on just popping up. Not only does she pop up unannounced but she shows up with her 4 children that have already broken multiple things in my home and don’t care to listen to anyone and she shows up with her husband who feels he doesn’t have to speak to me when he walks in my home. They come in going in the rooms taking showers without asking all in the fridge and it’s just aggravating and rude. I corrected my sister on it and got cussed out and called dumb in return. My sister is 6 years older than me and could not handle a simple conversation. Not to mention I’m 8 months pregnant and need my alone time a lot and I don’t like dealing with people I have to clean up after when they decide to leave cause tbh I barely have the strength at 8 months. My sister hates me now but it’s all worth it to protect my peace.
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Karmesha, that’s awful that your sister is so rude and inconsiderate. Sometimes family members are the worst — that’s why I haven’t spoken to my sister in five years (but that’s another story).
Anyway, like you said, peace is everything. And congratulations on your upcoming baby 🙂
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I feel this in my soul. My husband’s family is like this, one couple especially. He would come over to spend time with my husband and she liked to also pop in, without any warning whatsoever to me, with her destructive toddler on tow. And then had the nerve to get upset when I didn’t entertain her. Plus they stay FOREVER, one time they fell asleep in my living room while their child attempted to destroy the house. There have been many visits that I wasn’t informed, but my husband knew they were coming, and didn’t bother to discuss this with me. We have gotten better at communucating with each other finally and that doesn’t happen so often anymore. However, just today I come home, tired and in pain, ready to take some ibuprofen and lay down for a nap–and there he is–just parked in my spot in the driveway waiting for my husband, claiming he “just dropped by to say hi”. My husband wasn’t even here and won’t be for a while so luckily he left. Gosh I can’t stand it.
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sadly some people, not all mind you but the more extreme examples, with no pretension whatsoever at all at being even remotely nice about it, in no uncertain terms need to be told,” you’re actively invading my space, leave or you will defintively not like the ensuing consequences of you’re own personal actions”. And yes untill it’s phrased that exact way, some will actively refuse to acknowledge it otherwise. Research scientifically provable articles on the matter, no I’m doing anything but trusting blind hearsay, those who are so inclines anyways will do it for they’re own resolutions on the matter, and those disinclined to disbelieve me won’t have bothered to give a shit in the first place.
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I have to be honest, I go a step further and would like at least a days notice before a visit. We work and I have a toddler. I think that it’s just polite to let people know ahead of time you would like to visit and I don’t think a days notice is asking too much. My anxiety goes through the roof when I get a same day text etc about stopping by. It puts me in a awkward situation and mood. I want to say no but feel that I can’t. The majority of people that do this to me are retired and I am almost positive know the day before they would like to visit. I think it’s just rude to assume it’s no big deal to tell someone the day of. Not everyone likes visitors especially pop ins or day of visits.
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My brother who I haven’t seen or talked to in 16 years shows up at my home unannounced. So rude and disrespectful. I was at work thankfully so I didn’t have to deal with him, but he did leave a note in my mailbox. He left his phone number and he asked me to call him. I texted him and asked him “what do you want?” Just as I figured he wanted something. That’s the only reason he ever makes contact. I told him to never show up at my house again, unannounced. No one likes being ambushed like that. And no I didn’t give him what he wanted.
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That would have pissed me all the way off.
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Coming by unannounced is rude, inconsiderate, entitled and selfish. However, author showing up like that at her grandmother’s (now aunt’s) struck me as odd to the point I couldn’t even continue reading. They are sure they are welcome. That’s what most unannounced visitors think – that their visit in general and themselves in particular are a gift. Maybe your relatives are just too polite and uncomfortable to tell you. Don’t do unto others what you hate being done unto yourself.
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It’s also rude to assume things. My Aunt for one, is absolutely NOT a pushover! She decided to keep the tradition of my Granny’s house being the “welcome” house on her own accord. If you had kept reading you would have seen where I said if she ever decided to change that rule it would be her prerogative to do so. And at the time of me writing this response, she has done so. And guess what…all 42 of my Granny’s descendants who were used to being able to “pop up” at anytime, (and use their keys to get in and lock up freely 😳) now respect the new rule. Simple. Everyone has their own rules for their own house and out of respect, you follow them. Some people welcome pop ups. I don’t. But since this article was written over 5 years ago; pre-pandemic. I don’t know anyone who welcomes pop ups anymore…
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I agree. This happened to me today and I was so missed beyond words
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Great post, thought it was just me being precious
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This happened to me today so i’m here for validation because I thought I am overreacting. My SIL showed up with her husband unannounced. I invited them over at a later time but she had said ‘no’ to that, stating that they can’t make it then, so that was that… Then 2 hours after that conversation, we hear the doorbell ring and it’s them. I would like to mention here that I have never met her in person and have never even spoken to her husband before. It is a Saturday, and I am pregnant and feeling awful after a long work week. Still in my pjs and unshowered. I was LIVID. Especially because I had offered a later time that would have worked for us but she said no to that. It was unbelievable! I hid in our bedroom and felt like a prisoner in my own home. Sucks because my husband just let them in and didn’t even say anything! Needless to say, we got in a huge fight afterwards. What a wrench in the day!
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That sucks that they just showed up and disregarded your wishes. And I can see why you and your husband got into an argument. I would have reacted the same way!
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