Shift Gears-Move Past Fear

Some of us are stuck in REVERSE always looking in the past, thinking about the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s, having a life full of regret!

Some are stuck in NEUTRAL, slow motion mode, and will only move if they’re pushed hard enough, but won’t get anywhere far, fast!

Some of us are in DRIVE! Always going, letting nothing hold us back as we weave through the traffic of life, enjoying it to the fullest, trying to avoid obstacles that might hinder us on our way to success…even if we get a flat tire, we change it and keep going! That’s how we SHOULD BE!

…But then there are those who are stuck in PARK! Which is being a prisoner of Fear! Being afraid to move, afraid to take chances, afraid to fail, afraid to succeed, afraid to live! Living in fear will get you absolutely NO WHERE!!

You HAVE to choose to make a move if you honestly desire change!! I can’t say that you will never feel fear, but you have to make up your mind to, DO IT AFRAID! You can be offered many chances to change your situation, but if you never move to seize the opportunities…then the lack of change is no one’s fault but your own! Fear is FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL! It’s not  REAL!! All the scenarios you came up with, in your mind about Your failure IS NOT EVEN REAL!!! You made it up!! Stop scaring yourself out of your Destiny!! Make the most of EVERY opportunity in a day! You can’t move forward if you’re scared to shift out of PARK! So go ahead and SHIFTGEARS!!

Mrs. Mignon’ T. Padilla

Do you know anyone who needs to shift gears in their lives? Share this post with them and encourage them to pursue their dreams!

10 Reasons you shouldn’t “Pop Up” at Someones House

Okay, so let me tell you about a pet peeve of mine…people showing up at my house unannounced! Now I know for some people this is not really a problem. In fact, my Granny’s house is the “pop up” house even though it is now inhabited by my Aunt. We still “drop in” to visit or say “hi” because it is welcomed and has been for over 40 years! Yet, if at any given moment my Auntie wanted to change this rule, it would be her right to do so because it is her house.  But it has not changed and we are still able to “Pop up” unannounced. But here at the Padilla Estates, that ish don’t fly!

I have had to deal with this in the past with people on both sides of the fence (his family and mine), who thought it was okay to violate the rules and the regulations that govern the household that the King (My Husband) and I have set in place. It was causing tension, stress and intense fellowship in our home. Until I put my foot down and Shut. It. Down!

For a couple of years everything was going smoothly and there was much peace in the Kingdom…until recently someone (a past violator) made a crude joke about it and I felt the need  rise up in me to share reasons why this is unacceptable in case it was not understood the first time!

1. It’s just RUDE and Disrespectful. – Every household has certain rules that must be followed when you go to a person’s home… ‘Take off your shoes at the door’, ‘No Smoking’, ‘No swearing’,…things like that. So if my rule is that you call or text before you come over (and I don’t mean when you are sitting out in front of my house) then you’re doing nothing but being rude and disrespectful to the rules that have been set in place at my home and you do not deserve to even step foot through my door.

2. I’m not at home. – I’m sorry (not really), but I don’t just sit around all day waiting on people to pop up at my house unannounced. I have a life and by you coming to my house without notice finding that we are not there only wastes your time and gas when you could have just easily just shot a quick text or given a call.

3. Common Courtesy/Pick up the damn phone! – How hard is it to shoot a text or give a quick call to let me know you are on your way? Or at least to see if I am even there or available to see you? You can text and call about other silly stuff, but you can’t let me know you’re five minutes away from my house or around the corner?

4. I didn’t feel like cleaning up today. – For those who know me, they know that I CANNOT STAND a junky house and I definitely can’t stand letting other people see it! I like a clean, clutter-free, organized environment that smells good and looks like it was designed by an HGTV star! (Product of being a daughter of a woman with mild OCD…I’m using the word mild to be nice ;-)) Yet, we are a family of five (5) and lead very busy lives so there are some rare occasions we come home and are so tired that we just drop everything  and don’t feel like picking up after ourselves. So the dishes might not have made it to the dishwasher or the carpet hasn’t been vacuumed or the bathroom trash hasn’t been removed. In any case, I don’t want to have to stress over wondering whether or not someone is about to pop up at my house when I’m already exhausted from a long day.

5. I have other plans that have now been upheld (inconvenient) – I have 10 minutes to get to where I have to go and you just pulled up in my driveway (if I had one and didn’t live in a condo) blocking my car in, talking about “Oh, were you leaving? I needed to talk to you.”  All of this could have been avoided and you could have kept that good gas in your car if you had just done #3. I know that sometimes you need a face to face sit down with someone, but even in that instance a quick text or call would have let you know if I were available.

6. We’re not cool like that! – Listen, I don’t care if we are family (whether by blood or marriage), if you and I are not cool like that then don’t think that by popping up unannounced it will make us cool like that! My MOMMA doesn’t even show up at my house unannounced so why do YOU think that you can and we’re not even tight like that? I don’t care if you’re coming to see someone other than me. This is my house and we have RULES just like you have at your house! If you can’t follow the rules of my house then you definitely aren’t welcome!

7. I don’t want to be bothered today. – Say we are cool, but I just don’t want to see anyone today (this may include the people I live with, but whatcha gonna do? *shrug). Everyone deserves time to themselves; peace and quiet away from other people just to clear their minds. You showing up unannounced can disturb that and now we’re not cool because I just slammed the door in your face!

8. I don’t want to see you! – Not to be rude (if I haven’t been already) but sometimes I just don’t want to see you. If you have been calling, texting and, IM’ing me and I have not responded, but you see I have been posting on social media, so you know I am alive. This is not an invitation for you to show up at my house to “check on me”. I don’t need you to check on me. Obviously I need you to leave me alone because I am clearly avoiding you for some reason.

9. I already have company. – You are not the only friend or family member that I have in my life and sometimes I like to enjoy the company of other people (who have called in advance). Now don’t get offended that I didn’t invite you to hang with us because you and that other person may not get along like that. So this is to avoid a very awkward situation or the feeling of you being a 3^rd We’re still cool, but I think it is best if we see other people… It’s not me; it’s you…because you keep showing up at my house unannounced!

10. You’re not welcome at my house. – If you have come to my house causing mess in the past then you are not welcome in my home! We have PEACE that abides at the Padilla Estate and we will NOT have anyone coming and disturbing it! It’s tight, but right. Especially, if the reason is that we don’t get along or we don’t like each other for whatever reason. Why are you even showing up at my house anyway? Don’t say you didn’t think I would be here, I LIVE HERE! And you would have known I was home if you had done #3! It just makes me think that you are trying to disrespect and threaten me and in that case you want these hands…to anoint and  Bless you and Slay you in the Spirit ( I am a Christian woman ;D)!

So to make a long post longer…You wouldn’t want someone showing up at your house causing havoc and disturbing your peace, so why would you think it was okay for you to do it to someone else? You may think it is harmless, but for some people it is not. It’s downright disrespectful, inconvenient and rude! So next time you think of “dropping by” to say hello or visit, show some common courtesy! Pick up the phone and shoot a quick text.  But, if you still don’t agree with the rules and regulations of a person’s home, for whatever reason, then just don’t go over at all!

Have you ever had to deal with people showing up at your home unannounced? Do you agree or disagree with today’s post? Why or why not? Leave a comment below.

Own Your Past So It Won’t Own You

It’s sad that I have noticed on my journey that the higher up you go in life, the more people work to bring you down. Kinda like crabs in a barrel. They don’t want you to escape before them, or some just don’t want you to go at all. They are comfortable in the struggle and want you to struggle wit
h them because, let’s face it, misery loves company. One way that they try to keep you down, is always bringing up things from your past.

Now, truth be told, I have done things in my past that I am not proud of…and I am sure that’s true with a lot of us. Yet, I have grown past my mistakes and realized that they have made me more wiser in my choices going forward…unfortunately there are people in my life (relatives mostly) who do not have that revelation and are hell bent on reminding me of mistakes that took place way back when.

At first it used to bother me and I would immediately want to punch them in their faces! They used to bring things up at the most random moments. Well, at first it seemed random when they would say it, but as they continued to do it, I noticed that it wasn’t random at all. It was calculating and usually when someone gave me praise about a current project I was working on or something that I accomplished. The offenders would then say, “You’ve come a long way from (insert past mistake here) or I remember when you used to (insert past vulgar behavior here).” Then I’m looking like…BISH what was your point?!

The point was that in that moment of me being praised; jealousy, envy and discontentment with their own lives rose up, making them feel inadequate and they had to quickly refocus the attention back on them so that they could feel of value. Some people only feel good about themselves by making others feel bad about their selves. Yet the only attention that they got was an evil eye and an almost laying of hands… but I digress…it never got that far. I usually just walked away or said, “Listen to Bitter Betty over here.” I know that I could have just blurted something from their past and shut the whole thing down, but that would have just brought me down to their level and even though they would have been hurt, they still would have won.

Like I said, it used to bother me A LOT, until I realized that, if I don’t come to peace with my past, the Bitter Betty’s in my life would always have one up on me. Until I realized that what I did back then, does not define who I am, what I will become and how far I go, unless I let it, I wasn’t going to be free from the guilt and shame of it! The point of people bringing up your past is to try to keep you locked into it, so that you will feel that what you did back there is so horrible (even if it’s not that big of a deal in hindsight) that you can’t move forward without the fear of people finding out. It’s not about keeping you humble, it’s about keeping you trapped, stagnant and miserable…like them.

So how do you get through it? By embracing the fact that you did it, it happened and you can never change it…and it’s OKAY!

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Instead I am single-minded: Forgetting the things that are behind and reaching out for the things that are ahead,-Philippians 3:13b

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Your past is your past and you can’t do anything about it. Yet without your past you would not be where you are today and even if where you are today is a negative result of your past, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a better future. You just have to want to have a better future…and then pursue it! Let your past strengthen you and push you forward to have better! Just think about this…You went through ALL OF THAT…and still survived! You made all those mistakes…BUT YOU’RE STILL HERE!!

Use your past as a learning experience of what not to do going forward. Make better choices and stay away from the Bitter Betty’s in your life. (Men can be Bitter Betty’s too!) Realize that just because of what happened to you… just because of a mistake or bad choice you made…regardless of everything you have been through, you are still ALIVE and have another chance to live a happier life. A life where you have Peace, Joy and Happiness all the time! Just because you decided not to let your past rule over your life!

So the next time the Bitter Betty’s come at you with their “Remember when’s” and “You’ve come a long way from…,” You can smile in their face and say, “You’re right. I remember that and I have come a long way and I am better because of it!” And then walk away like a BOSS!

Mrs. Mignon’ T. Padilla

 

How have you dealt with people who have tried to hold your past over you? Let me know in the comments below.